Lived Experience Forum

[mia4]

I've been struggling with doing even the basics these few weeks. I have to force myself to get out of bed, to take a shower, to eat.... I constantly worry I'm going to make a huge mistake at work and embarrass myself. I've just started a new job and having to self introduce myself to large groups and new people over the phone is also a huge struggle. I haven't seen a gp to get a diagnosis but I'm tempted to see one just to get a prescription to help me stop feeling things. I've had thoughts of suicide but I know I won't attempt it just because I'm too afraid to even try and I'm too afraid of what will happen. I have no friends or family here and I don't think anyone would even notice I've been gone. How can I get a doctor to prescribe me something to help?

[jem80]

@mia4 

Thanks for reaching out. You are supported here. Please know that you are not alone and we are here to support you.

If you think that you plan to go through with sucide or have those thoughts please call 000 or reach out to lifeline on 131114 or online chat or you can text at https://www.lifeline.org.au or you can call suicide callback on 1300659467 or chat at https://www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au

It is challenging to get out of bed, start a new job, meet new people in large groups and over the phone. It is probably a very anxious time for you. 

Sometimes change can be overwhelming to deal with. I understand what it feel likes to think that you will make a mistake. I use to say sorry to all my colleagues at work when I first started my new job because it was a new job, new environment and I wanted to do well, I wanted to prove that I was worthy of the job that I had been given. In any new job we will make mistakes as we are learning, but if you have the right supports around you it's helpful. Also I learnt that they wouldn't have given me the job unless they had seen something worthy in me in the beginning. A lot of it is about self confidence, hopefully as you get use to the job your self confidence will grow.

It would be beneficial to see a GP and get some counseling from a psychologist to talk through your issues.

[mia4]

Thanks for replying. I do agree that I have a self confidence issue. I've been trying to find ways to help but I get nervous when I think about meeting with a gp or psychologist. I've only tried to talk to someone once (a psychologist) and it left me feeling worse. I've got a big presentation at work today - hoping it goes well. Fingers crossed as I feel slightly better today! Managed to get out of bed to move to my desk to work today. Small steps!

[jem80]

@mia4 

Well done for getting out of bed, keep taking small steps and slowly things will happen.

It takes more than 1 appointment with a psychologist to get comfortable in telling your story. Normally I have found that the first appointment is a get to know you and then it's when I have had more appointments after that we get into looking at what the real issues are. Also when talking to a psychologist you will be opening up and be confronted with things that you may not want to deal with. I have found that it takes time to get through issues and it requires multiple appointments which is ok.

I implore you to give your psychologist another chance and you can always find someone else if you feel after a few appointments it's not working out for you.

good luck with your presentation today. I hope it goes well.