Lived Experience Forum

[stinkymonkey]

Hi Guys,

This is my first post, so I’m not sure if I’m doing this right lol, sorry in advance !! 

For the past couple of months or so I have really been struggling with my anxiety and depression. I have had quite a few panic attacks recently, and each day I feel like my mental health is declining - even though I am trying my absolute best to go to work, see friends, and do things I normally enjoy.

What I can’t seem to shake the most, is this very intense feeling of depersonalisation. I am diagnosed with generalised anxiety, but the experience of derealisation is what gets to me the most. Every night, I feel it coming on, and I get thrown into what feels like a nightmare I can’t wake up from. I get tunnel vision, my heart races, I have a lump in my throat - and nothing feels real. I feel like I’m having a bad trip or something. And there’s absolutely nothing I can do to get relief.

I have brought this up to doctors, psychologists and psychiatrists - and they assure me that it’s just an uncomfortable physical sensation, almost minimising it as something that is not that serious. But to me, it’s honestly the worst thing in the world; and really damaging to my mental health and functionality as a whole. I am really struggling to keep up with life and stay positive, when half the time I’m frozen in fear, unable to do anything.

I have felt like this before, and it does eventually go away - but it always comes back, I’m just not sure why. I was wondering if anyone else has gone through this too, and what sort of things help. I would love to hear others experiences !!

Thanks :))

[Willy]

Hi @stinkymonkey 
It is very disappointing that all your medical/mental health practitioners just dismiss you symptoms as insignificant. 
From what you are saying they are anything but insignificant. It is also not uncommon for these sorts of problems to be cyclic. 
Without a lot more information about  treatments you have been offered or tried it is hard to make suggestions other than to say that nothing works for everybody and to a large extent  you have to shop around for both appropriate services and decent practitioners until you find them and what works for you.
I would say don't except being fobbed of by these so called experts. There is certainly treatments for what you are describing but unfortunately finding them can sometimes be difficult. 
There is a limit to things we are allowed to say on this forum because we are not therapists etc but I would definitely encourage you to persevere and keep looking.
Regards

Willy

[underthebee]

Hi there @stinkymonkey 

Welcome to the SANE forums, and thank you for sharing your experience with us! It's always really nice to see someone new reaching out to connect 😊

Sorry to hear that you've had such big feelings over the past few months. It sounds very confronting, and I'm sure it's very distressing. 

While I don't have much experience with this kind of thing myself, I'm here to sit with you and offer my support. I think it's really great that you've been putting in so much effort to keep up with seeing friends and doing the things you enjoy, and I hope that sharing here can be a nice way to reflect on your hard work!

Has there been anything you've found so far that helps in any way with these experiences? I'm curious if there is something you've tried that maybe works sometimes but not always?

Again, welcome to the forums 💙🐝

[Chark]

@stinkymonkey 

I know this was written a while ago, but this is the year that my struggle with it started.

for the past 2 years, I have had an on-and-off struggle with this experience but as of recently, it has become an every night thing.

I have sought help myself and made to feel like I am crazy. This feeling makes me feel hopeless and I often don't know what to do. It makes me feel so scared and I am very young. It started when I was in year 10. I was only 15. I understand your struggle and I would like to be of support to anybody who experiences something similar.

[lavenderhaze]

Hi @Chark, welcome to the forums 🙂

Thank you for sharing. ❤️

I have experienced something similar as well, and I can empathize with you.

The frequency and intensity have reduced over time. I just rationalize that I survived the times it happened and try to ride the wave. 

Sometimes, blasting music and dancing has helped with the anxiety.