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12-02-2018 10:25 PM
12-02-2018 10:25 PM
Re: elderly mother recently diagnosed as bipolar
I would love to hear if you or others have strategies of dealing with the emotional rollercoaster rides as well as the demands of dealing with the anxieties.
Thanks!
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24-02-2018 10:18 PM
24-02-2018 10:18 PM
Re: elderly mother recently diagnosed as bipolar
Noticed you posted on the lived experience side. @Susana and @merri care for their mothers.
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26-02-2018 09:09 AM
26-02-2018 09:09 AM
Re: elderly mother recently diagnosed as bipolar
Hi @Susana,
Apologies I just saw your post. It does sound as though there are a lot of similarities. Would you say your mum has periods of being manic as well as anxious? It took me and my husband a really long time to realise mum was bipolar and it became more obvious after my dad died. Perhaps your dad knew about your mum and they both 'managed' it together while he was alive. I really sympathise that you have your mum living at home as that sounds very hard for you and your husband to get a break. Carers Victoria taught me a number of strategies which I have been slowly putting into place. I often have felt incredibly guilty when I do this though. Things had to get really bad before I started to make changes - I have a brother but he's far away and has been little support. What carers vic pointed out is that I have probably always been the 'responsible' one in the family and solved mum's problems. My husband and I realised so many of mum's issues that we fixed were unncessary - she would make rash decisions when manic and wouldn't/ couldn't take any responsiblity if she was depressed. Basically I had to stop 'solving' things for her. She is 91 so you can imagine how guilty I felt. Carers Vic told me I had to be less available - my mum didn't live with me but I was responsible for her accomodation and the person people called, which was often, when things went wrong. I can see how difficult this is for you as your mum lives with you. Could one of your brother's take care of your mum for a while to give you and your husband a break? I am thinking f they are like my brother, they are all care and no responsiblity. Carers Vic stressed how I needed to stop continually thinking about mum and all her issues and to start thinking more about myself and my husband. They stressed that I would not be abandoning her, but that it was not my sole responsliblity to care for her. So slowly little by little I hvae been stepping back. Others are quick to judge and Carers Vic pointed out that it was really convenient for others, my brother, dr's etc, to have me take all the responsiblity. I have had to learn to live with that. I hope some of this helps...you sound a great daughter!
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26-02-2018 10:28 PM
26-02-2018 10:28 PM
Re: elderly mother recently diagnosed as bipolar
Thanks for sharing the strategies you are applying in your situation, that really helps. You and I sound very similar when it comes to our caring roles. I am not good at learning to let go and step back.... Sigh.... But I need to! There's a helpful article recommended by one of the senior contributors about the difference between a caregiver and a caretaker.... I am afraid I am more like the latter.... Have to stop trying to 'fix' problems that are not entirely my responsibility. I went for a session with the counsellor from Carers NSW this morning and I told my brothers that right now, we need more than respite.... I have literally come to the end of the road.. They are looking at options of nursing homes at least today put mum's name down and to make other arrangements for mum's care.
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26-02-2018 10:29 PM
26-02-2018 10:29 PM
Re: elderly mother recently diagnosed as bipolar
http://mhr4c.com.au/coping-strategies/self-care/
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27-02-2018 10:26 AM
27-02-2018 10:26 AM
Re: elderly mother recently diagnosed as bipolar
@SusanaThat is great that your brothers are getting involved. I am also glad you are stating what you can and can't do. I think often daughters are automatically assumed to take on a fulltime caring role as part of being a good daughter. Many thanks for the link - i also found it really helpful and yes I have been a caretaker too. I am now trying to shift into being a caregiver. Many things in the article rang true for me - last year I was burnt out and Carers Vic identified Carer's Fatigue. It's not easy to shift from a caretaker role to a caregiver role but for me it has been an improvement. I hope you and your husband get some respite and start enjoying yourselves again!
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27-02-2018 07:07 PM
27-02-2018 07:07 PM
Re: elderly mother recently diagnosed as bipolar
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28-03-2018 09:42 AM
28-03-2018 09:42 AM
Re: elderly mother recently diagnosed as bipolar
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28-03-2018 10:19 AM
28-03-2018 10:19 AM
Re: elderly mother recently diagnosed as bipolar
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28-11-2018 06:15 PM
28-11-2018 06:15 PM
Re: elderly mother recently diagnosed as bipolar
Your mother lacks communication. Therefore, she listens to stories from the street. I don't think that you could suffer for so long farther. Find for her a specialist that's working by caring for the elderly https://www.devotedhc.com . In this case, you will only be in profit. You can control her communication. Also, you will have time for relaxation.
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