Lived Experience Forum

[redheaded]

My case manager just let me know she's leaving next month.
I'm so distraught. She's the one person in my life I trust. I told her stuff I've never told anyone else. She listens to me and understands.
I don't want her to leave. I'm not coping with it.

[Appleblossom]

@redheaded

Sorry to hear.  It is very distressing to deal with the loss of a support person.

Take care of you while you establish new network.

[BambiFawn]

@redheaded, 

So sorry to hear your Case Manager is leaving.  It's good that you had a really good rapport and connection with her.  Hold onto your happy memories and try not to get sad.  Hopefully , the new Case Manager will be a good one, they usually are. 

[Owlunar]

Hi @redheaded

That is really tough - I understand entirely

I have been through having a great case manager - and the one I have now is great too - but when my first case manager retired I was shaken up badly and my Dad died just after that - really tough stuff

What to do now? - I guess it's a case of hoping for the best - which sounds pathetic - but what else? - let me think.

One suggestion is that you don't make the mistake I did - I thought that the next case worker would be on the job and she wasn't - but these things are issues to be brought up with the people who organise these things so in the meantime

Hope but don't expect the new case worker to be the same - just different - and wait and see

You can always talk to us about any problems you have with this - some of us have case workers

And I do understand though I can't know how you are feeling - so in the meantime - all the best and please keep in touch

Dec

[Former-Member]

Hello @redheaded

It feels like the rug has been pulled from under you leaving you stumbling to find your footing again when that one person you trust to tell your innermost pain becomes unavailable. For me that is a traumatising life event. Please ring a distress line if that distress grows. 

I feel for you. Before your case manager leaves would you be able to tell her exactly how you are feeling and see if she can recommend another case manager whom is equally trust worthy and compassionate where a similar relationship can form in time? It is possible so please don't lose hope. Let us know how you get on.

[redheaded]

I saw my new case manager today, we are doing a transition between cade managers so I have 2 for the time being lol.
But I'm really sad about it. I feel like I'll be lost without my old case manager. Not that there is anything wrong with my new case manager but I'm scared.

[Phoenix_Rising]

Hi @redheaded,

I'm going to tag @oR-neB in here too because they posted about the challenge of losing an important support person at about the same time you did yesterday @redheaded.

It super super super sucks when a caseworker, psychologist, GP etc. moves on. This is something that I am super struggling with too. I was with a psychologist for sixteen years. The relationship was complex, unethical, and abusive...but if I could have the time over, I would never have left him. He always told me that he was the only one who would stay, and 27 months and 12 therapists later I can see that he is right.

I am barely coping with the nightmare of therapist shopping now and I know for certain I wouldn't have survived this process 10-15 years ago. I certainly don't have any answers for how to cope with it - it sucks. I really don't think mental health professionals have any idea how damaging it is when they terminate contact with clients (for whatever reason). I think if you choose to work with vulnerable people, then you need to commit for the long haul. If you don't have that sort of commitment, then go work with paper or plants or animals - not human beings.

I super hope you are able to connect well with your new caseworker in time @redheaded and that you are able to find some good professional support @oR-neB.

[Sans911]

@redheaded - it's such a hard time to loose someone you have trusted and held in such regard for so long. Then you have to start again with a new person. What if you don't like this person? What if you don't or won't trust her? She's probably really nervous too about taking over your care, and she probably already has soon understanding how hard this will be for you? But your current case manager is trying to smooth the process by giving you ample warning. Unfortunately, people do move on in their lives. I had an amazing clinician earlier this year who every week I was working on stabilising my SI. She literally was talking me off the ledge. One thing she did at the end of our sessions, which I'm forever grateful to her for, was she ask me if I wanted to do anything meaningful for our last session. I actually created a picnic, cooked stuff by my own hands, took Appletiser instead of wine, and we found a park nearby it was very short in time, as she had work to do, but she still made an effort to participate. I still miss her terribly after many months, as we had a really great human connection, but I treasure that last memory so much. You don't necessarily have to do the same thing, but make it meaningful for you both. If you are creative, you could do some arty for her. It just gives you something good instead of that hollow, lost feeling. All the best

[Shaz51]

So sorry to hear your Case Manager is leaving @redheaded , sending you hugs my friend