Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

Hi @creative_writer 

I read you with similarities.

But l am definitely more dog than cat.

Lucky we can  choose.

I also like to take the back seat and places and observe.

So much to see in the way people are.

I also think deeper minds are at the back. The front only know what they wanted to know.

I was attending a church pre covid.

My friend who came said she does not like people asking too much about her.

I am the same.

I told her ask them a question and you will find most will go on and on about themselves.

That suits me.

I observed those people were bad remembering names and had no idea what anyone else does.

So l also like the back seat.

I was known as the one who chatted to those no one else would.

My latest interest has been maintaing the grass and stuff at a friends country land. She was scammed into buying sonething she should not have.

So l enjoy my quiet time there. The neighbours are friendly.

[Former-Member]

Hi @creative_writer 

When l maIntain the place l had to be friendly with some.

If l have an accident or need help l need someone around.

That was emphasis on we do need people.

But some for limited time is fine.

The extraverts i sometomes am glad as they leave. All show.  No substance. No emathy

Introverts have deeper value in my opinion. Good listeners. Empathetic. Humble

[creative_writer]

@Former-Member, you can learn a lot about a person even through observation of their interactions with others. I hate being asked personal questions by most people. I find it incredibly uncomfortable when my parents ask about my psych appointments, I guess I’m sort of trying to separate from them while living under the same roof. I prefer to be the one asking about other people’s lives, and as you said, most people tend to be happy to talk about their lives.

Gardening sounds like a nice hobby, I fear I would be too allergic to do something like that. Hayfever is another beast.

I think ideally having a few close relationships is enough for me. The closest friendships I have are long distance. I’ve always found relationships hard. It’s so hard to find people I feel comfortable with. I never feel fully safe with anyone

[Former-Member]

Hi @creative_writer 

I am with you on your reply.

I agree with all.

i rarely open up. I do regret it when l do.

My father was a man of few words. I tell you, his few words were far greater than yappers.

For me, bible verses are the same. Short and wise and powerful.

We never should surrender all to others. It can be used against you.

I am not on any social media.

I do tell some people, just give me the short version. But some want to go on.

I hope l have not gone on.

I do understand what you wrote.

Also words cannot be taken back.

Once we open to others it is out there.

I leave my words in my mind.

It is good you are workjng out how to live peacefully at home

[creative_writer]

@Former-Member, it’s not only about words being against you, but you can’t completely eliminate that possibility, I find most people are also not very good with managing strong emotions.

I also think the ingrained obsession with reputation is pretty hard to shake off, I can’t afford to let my MH struggles be known by the public. I don’t even know why others’ opinions matter so much, I would be too “damaged” by some in the Muslim community

[Former-Member]

Hi @creative_writer 

Re:  I don’t even know why others’ opinions matter so much, I would be too “damaged” by some in the Muslim community

Does everyone elses opinions matter?

Or only those that you see as a guide, friend or mentor?

Faith communities can be hard.

Some members of any faith or institute or club or workplace think their opinion matters and harm others.

As we say, who amongst you has not sinned?

You worry about people you respect and no need to converse with the opinionated.

You do not have to answer.

Turn the topic to them.

Hypocrites.

[creative_writer]

@Former-Member, I grew up with importance of honour and reputation being drilled into my head, so I suppose caring about the opinion of people as a whole. It makes a lot of sense to be socially anxious as a result. A lot of MH misconceptions are culture rather than religion, however, sometimes culture pretends to be religion. Stigma is precisely the reason why my parents never wanted me to seek support for my MH, and they stopped me from seeking support for a year. I had to wait till I was 18 to be able to decide. I probably had MH issues since I was a kid. MH even runs in my family, but is not openly spoken about in older generations

[Former-Member]

Hi @creative_writer 

Most the people I associated were studying Dictors, Soljcitors etc.

I end up a Mdchanic.

I am lucky. My parents made me finish school to a level, then l did my apprenticeship.

So i hear culture expectations.

Sorry your parents may be more concerned about others opinions than you.

I had other issues with parents but in hindsight they guided me well.

Sorry yiu parents saw the stigma instead of your MH.

Very frustrating.

Sounds good that at 18 you get more choice.

I hope you try and put the past behjnd and use your wisdom to seek the help you want with who you are comfotable with.

Unless you are out of line, please do not put much emphasis on others opinions.

You can never please all. Never.

I hope you can break the cycle that affects you.

Strong people still hurt.

Opening up only opens others opinions. Weekly their opinions change.

You are not obliged to open to everyone. It does not mean you are their friend. Some use it against you.

I support you finding a few good people.

[Former-Member]

Hi @creative_writer 

Sorry for typos in last message.

You are creative.

You will sort out the typos!

[creative_writer]

@Former-Member, I don’t think they meant harm, I think they got too caught up with MH stigma. They probably thought I would grow out of the depression, but I didn’t.

I thread very carefully when it comes to opening up about my life, sometimes a little too carefully, I struggle to be completely open in therapy