Lived Experience Forum

[jaberwocky]

Hello & greetings fellows.

Thanks fr these forums SANE!

I have a question regarding an arts managment body involved in 'trauma recovery' who ran a project I was recently involved in. The details are unimportant, but as a result of some dodgy practice in training in 'trauma recovery' (in the middle of a global pandemic), my frequent requests to suspend the training till a more stable time were ignored & I feel pushed me further into ill health.

I kept repeating that 'Trauma begets trauma' & that to be studying trauma (on zoom - or via video files) in the middle of a traumatic experience, as one who has complex PTSD is an exceptionally triggering and traumatic process. If I were the only one affected, I would say - 'my bag' - unfortunately 6 out of the 7 in the cohort reported similar losses to health & wellbeing. There was no psychologist in the room - or made available to us. My question is:

Is this an issue I should take to the arts management body's board?

Am i over dramatising?

It's so hard to know - especially when feeling exposed & made to disclose as a result of this flawed process. My concern is for other groups and communities being exposed to this type of process - and the lack of understanding of training in MH with no protocols of having a psychologist in the room. Currently I am being accused of transference - (!) but if others are feeling similar in regards to the course - I doubt it.  Please advise as I am concerned for trauma affected communities being subject to bad practice.

[nashy]

Hello @jaberwocky thanks for sharing this post and question 🙂 Our community is here to support you and hold space and I am sorry to hear of your experience of trauma. It sounds like you were pretty uncomfortable in the zoom as were others. Of course, totally up to you if you would like to take it further, I'd imagine the board is there to facilitate concerns such as this. Keep us updated as to how you go! 

[Appleblossom]

Hearing you about issues around encourgement to disclosure in a supposedly "therapeutic" setting and trauma.  Arts management and trauma and recovery are very different fields and though there can be a an intersection it ought be managed carefully. IMO.

@jaberwockyI am sorry you had this experience and the first things are probably Self Care Self Care Self Care.

Complaints and Feedback can be helpful to alerting organisations and individuals of failure or a weakness in the practice.  I would only conmplain when you have recovered some inner strength for it, as it is not always satisfactory, but better that some people do go through the procedure.  Recently I put a complaint through about a psychologist and found the complaint process very average.  It confirned for me the need for work in this area, but all I can give is a sense of solidarity in my response to you. 

Respect your experience, Stay Safe and Take Care

[Zoe7]

Hi @jaberwocky It seems to me that such a course being facilitated by someone that is not trained is both unacceptable and bordering on negligent. It is entirely up to you but if it was me I certainly would be alerting the organisers/board of the effects it has had on you. Others may do the same and it may inform their practice (hopefully) going forward. 

Being put in that situation whether you have a history of PTSD or not - and not being listened to when you say it is triggering - is, in my opinion unacceptable. I have been in a similar situation with being re-traumatised in therapy and my GP contacted my psych to stop straight away - which we did. I couldn't speak up for myself at the time because I was not in a good way so having someone advocate for me was invaluable. 

Do you have someone you can talk to about this - maybe to help get your thoughts down so you can then forward on your views about this practice? ...and more importantly someone that you can work through what you have endured as a result?

[jaberwocky]

Thanksto all for the thoughtful responses & for the safe space here.  
Unbeknownst to me my letter to the CEO has been forwarded to the Chair of the org - so now i have a convo this Friday ( which i am not looking forward to- because of all the stuff folk with MH issues face : stigma, not being trusted etc...) the Chair has asked me if there are any other folk who might want to join in our meeting....

this has put me in a very awkward position.

if i ask folk who have intimated their thoughts & struggles too this is asking them to expose themselves in some way. i will have to let them know that a process to question & review this is underway & if they wish to add their experience to the review - that it is starting (it seems) with the Chair's invitation to me to talk... i cant see any other recourse.

i am tired of this gig which has taken 6months (it started pretty much as COVID hit our shores) instead of the precovid 2 months originally agreed upon. As the cause is 'worthy' & has potential in my community for lots of beneficial MH outcomes, i stuck in with it in good faith.

Lack of transparency & continual blow out of timelines, and the trauma this process has triggered is my issue (oh and being pro-bono for 4 months with no plans in place for the second stage of their pilot program). 
my wish is for transparency, better processes & protocols in their organisation & their approach... & reconsideration of their own community engagement skills....& their comprehension of doing such work without MH support in place - during a stressful world wide event...

i may simply write an open letter to all - stating my decision to withdraw & why (simply) & that if anyone wishes to discuss there is a meeting with the Chair. This will  set cat among pigeons - but i feel backed in to a corner somewhat. Also as lived experience teaches us all - clarity when in the midst of stuff like this is precious & difficult to maintain.

Thanks for your support SANE - it is really helpful.