Lived Experience Forum

[SwearyCyn]

Yes, @Former-Member, social media must be approached with caution! I make sure that my FB page in particular is a "safe place". I have no qualms about blocking people or things that are triggers, and keep it as a place where I can be honest and know that the people I connect with understand and support that, so I have done that very specifically. I have very few friends physically around me now, and my good friends are far away, so I rely on social media to connect with people who I know care. You have to be cut-throat at times, but you can create a positive social media space for yourself, particularly on FB which has some great functionality for sorting the wheat from the chaff!

[SwearyCyn]

Callout back at you @Shaz51!

[Former-Member]

@Former-Member your description of the day is all about everyone else's plans.  It's like you're being high-jacked for a couple of days!  Maybe tonight isn't the time to answer this, but is there a chance of squeezing in some time for something you want to do? The danger of not doing that is that you might end up so unwell at the thought of what's ahead of you that you can't take part anyway. 

If there is more of a balance - only part of the day with your partner's family - you have a better chance of staying well.  If your partner isn't very receptive to your reasons, maybe you don't need to explain them anymore.  It should be enough that your mental health requires more balance in the day.  I guess that's what I was getting at before - why is the compromise seemingly all ours? 

[greenspace]

Thanks, @Shaz51

[Former-Member]

So how do you spend Christmas @Kombibob?  What choices support your mental health on the day?

[SwearyCyn]

@Former-Member, I'm so sorry to hear all that is happening, it sounds truly awful. I'm thinking of going to a mediator or something with my partner so he is able to support me better, particularly during times like this - would that be something you would consider? Families are such, hard, work! My sister is an alcoholic, and ruined what turned out to be my Dad's last Xmas a few years ago (he then passed away a few months later very suddenly) - I don't understand why these people think it's okay to destroy everything and be mean, and make it seem like it's your fault. It is NOT your fault. Are you able to take some time out on the day and go for a walk, by yourself or with your partner, to regroup? Then you can have something to look forward to on the day, and know that you will get a break. And Lifeline and other services are only a phone call away, pop the numbers in your phone so you have them at hand. Then talk to your partner about having a quiet xmas by yourselves next year!! Look after yourself xxoo

[Former-Member]

Thanks for listening to me whine @Former-Member....

I don't think I made very good sense...

If it was up to me I would go to the beach on xmas day... I don't have my own car anymore & my partner won't let me drive.... 

it's all complicated...

I had to cancel my psychiatrist appointment due to being broke - I sent her an email & if she offers hospital - I'm going if my partner doesn't stop me....

My paranoia & anxiety has been worse for 3 or more months & I just can't hold it together anymore....

Sorry, for my ramblings & sorry I had no energy to comment on other posts I read.. 

I will leave now...

Sorry

[Former-Member]

I might revisit it too @greenspace.  it feels very cathartic to get all my bah humbugness out amongst friends!  So nice to not be judged for my attitude 🙂

[Former-Member]

Thank you @SwearyCyn....

We live in a spearate cabin on the property, but still have to use the house for toliet, shower, laundry... I will use the camping toliet on the day... I will hopefully have some $$ to buy a tv show I want to watch - I think it is mainly my paranoia feeling like my partner doesn't get it, but I can't reason with it - the paranoia also makes me not want to talk about it much - it's too much - Hopefully we will have some yummy vegan food - I hope my partner doesn't insist on buying presents for everyone when I can't even afford to get everything I need... 

I' not an assertive person - & it makes it even harder being the mentally ill one in a relationship....

I think I need someone to hug me tight & tell me it matters that I'm alive...

Sorry

[Former-Member]

Our thoughts are with you @Former-Member.  No need to leave and no pressure to respond.  You're voicing the very real distress that people feel this time of year and I'm sure we all wish we could alleviate it for you.  I hope you find some peace and a sense of safety over the next few weeks.  If that means hospital and it's the right thing for you then go for it.  But it's not a great reflection on the choices you're facing that this seems like the best option.  You have our support when you need it